Don’t you hate the idea that things have to exist for a reason? Like I have to justify the existence of stuff just because I happened to be the one who created them. Whatever. Not to get too meta on this, but this is about the only explanation I care to give on this whole “blog” section of my website. Just relax about it, okay?
Today hovered around the 95°F mark, the kind of oppressive haze that sits on top of the pavement like a heated blanket. Things don’t seem to boil as much as they aggressively stagnate. This humid stasis makes me feel like I’m trapped between two panes of glass, forced to stay still and watch reruns of my life’s worst episodes.
While I’m stuck in place, everyone who has ever been in my life tends to creep out of the recesses of my mind and march by, single file, rehashing things that should most likely not be rehashed. They remind me of unkind words I’ve spoken to them, times I was unappreciative, and, occasionally, the wrongs they’ve done by me. These summer ghosts ooze through my psyche and make me wish I felt lonely, so I did the only thing that I could think of to banish them.
I thought I would sweat them out.
After putting on the running shoes Mom bought me, the ones she says aren’t very fashionable but are healthy on the arches, and putting on one layer of sunscreen and one layer of bug spray, I headed straight out my front door. At first, the heat was refreshing after the chill of the A/C.
Once those first thirty seconds were over, I went through three phases in my two-and-a-half hour walk in terms of my relationship with the heat. The first phase was The Immortal Phase, where I believed I was invincible to everything because although it was hot and I was sweating, it still felt good and tranquil.
The second was the Damp Phase; because I developed a slick layer of wetness of presumably combined sunscreen, bug spray, and sweat, the chemical reaction of the ingredients creating an interesting crunchy yet watery yet solid consistency. I began to feel some discomfort in phase two.
Phase three, the final phase, we will call “Health Concerns Phase” and leave it at that. I no longer felt invincible; I was all too aware of my own mortality. A while ago, I remember mentioning to my brother something along the lines of, “You know when you walk too long and your fingers start to feel all weird and tingly and it’s hard to close your hand?”
And he was like, “No?”
So that was the day I found out not everybody’s fingers get all weird while walking. I just thought it had something to do with keeping your hands at your sides and all the blood flowing to them or something. Now, I’m not so sure. I looked at my hands when I began to feel like they were getting heavy and stiff, and noticed they had swollen up. Normally, my fingers bump out in the middle, due to my arthritic knuckles.
My hands in a normal state
Not this time. My whole fingers were the width of my arthritic knuckles and looked like they belonged to some other, fat fingered, non-me person. So of course I thought to myself, “Oh well,” and continued on with what I was doing. No other alternative anyway when you’re miles away from home.
My hands in a swollen state
Other non-important health concerns in the Health Concerns Phase were the drying of the liquid layer from the Damp Phase and the remaining salt layer, which, to me, a non-sports playing type of person who has limited experience with extreme physical exertion, is fascinating more than disgusting. Feet hurting and extreme thirst I will have to bump up to the semi-important health concerns level.
Even though I was questioning my own sanity in undertaking this walk by the time I was in phase 3, I have to say, my plan worked. Every single coherent thought had melted straight out of my brain, all ghosts banished, and every little sad feeling was replaced by an animal need for water and sitting down in the air conditioner that I don’t usually even like.
My health tip of the day is not to do this, and to find some better way to get your brain to stop torturing you with all the different people who used to be important to you and currently may not recognize you on the street or maybe they would recognize you but definitely would not say hello.